“doctors have diagnosed yet another heart attack”

I’m on my way back from visiting my Nan. Yup, she’s in hospital again. I’m sad to say that it isn’t a shock to us.

I’ve watched her go very downhill recently especially since our holiday. We came back to reports from my Grandad of Nan needing a lot of help with every day life, walking, dressing and going to the toilet. I went to visit her like we normally do and I could really see what my Grandad meant.

My Nan has kidney failure and my Mum has kidney disease. My Nan has dialysis and has been doing it at home for a few years now. It’s been terrible these past few years, well about 12 years really, to watch my Nan become more sick. Be by her side as she recovers from heart attacks and a stroke, pneumonia and being in a care home for some time.

Each year we wonder if she’ll make the next Christmas. This time the doctors have diagnosed yet another heart attack. The weird thing is that my Nan doesn’t recall having any pain. I hate the way my Nan’s talking, as if she knows she’s on her way out. She’s told my Grandad several times that that’s what she thinks and feels. It really didn’t help that her main doctor asked her if anything happens in the night does she want to be resuscitated! Eeeep!

Right this second I’m praying that she’ll get better, just like all the other hospital visits she’s had, because it’s fast approaching my wedding and she has to be there!!

The girls have behaved amazingly at the hospital. P1 got a little naughty right at the end, but that’s to be expected and I can’t blame her. It’s a late night tonight and after a stressful day I really just want to go to bed!

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