June has been quite the emotional rollercoaster. One moment I’m flying high above the clouds and in the next moment, I fall crashing down. I’m not sure if it’s delayed grief or just the normal waves and how my life will be permanently going forward.
June has been similar with regards to its up and down weather – a very British thing to talk about. We had a glorious few weeks of boiling sunshine, my perfect weather, then it all turned to rain and cold again. I’m actually late typing this out and we are on the first day of July, I’m actually sitting in the warm sunshine… Let’s hope that stays!
It’s certainly a challenging time for Freya at the moment. Sort of like her own personal rebellion. Anything and everything we say is wrong for her and this is certainly a challenge we have no idea how to deal with. The weird thing for us is that we are young parents in the grand scheme of things, it was only 12 years ago that I was in school myself and so I do have some idea of this generation… but of course, to Freya, I am an old Granny who has no idea what she’s talking about *rolls eyes*.
I’ve been worrying massively about Freya’s school career at the moment. It’s become a common occurrence for Freya to phone me on her walk to school in tears, or complain of tummy pains (anxiety) before school and being quite disruptive after school. These are all signs of something not going quite right during her school day. It’s behaviours that we have had in her old primary school when she was being bullied before we moved her school. Thankfully I’ve learnt to keep my eye on this sort of trigger and I’m emailing the school regularly so we can monitor the situation.
This month has been assessment month at school. Lots of changes which Freya doesn’t cope well with. However, we got her results back and are so proud of her. Despite the lockdowns and remote learning that has taken place during her first year of Secondary School, Freya has managed to maintain and end the year with brilliant scores. Her reading, in particular, was impressive, she’s currently 12-years and 6-months old and reading at an of 15-years and 9-months! Incredible.
Eva has so much energy. I need to borrow some of it because I feel permanently exhausted just trying to keep up with her. My Mum used to call her a squirrel, flitting from activity to activity. She was very correct and it’s definitely clear to tell when the weather is rainy. Eva moves from one thing to another and you end the day feeling drained. She specifically loves to get all the paints out, then leaves them for muggins to tidy up.
Eva has been able to enjoy some play dates this month. This is something we haven’t done very often, especially with all the restrictions in place. Although Eva loves to talk to adults, friendships are something she finds difficult. She’s high energy and finds relating to the girls in her class quite tough, but then doesn’t understand how to play football so that she can interact with the boys. So tends to find herself wandering about a bit lost as far as I can tell. The playdates have allowed her to get some independence and form some friendships outside of the school environment.
Eva has been doing really well in terms of her grieving journey. She seems much more in control during most parts, the memories are beginning to spark joy rather than sadness. There was a point in the past few months where I thought I’d never get my bubbly Eva back! But we are getting there and I’m so proud of her achievements this month.
This month Elsa’s confidence has grown on a variety of things. After doing some swimming lessons during the half-term break, her water confidence has grown and she will happily leap through the water sprinkler in the garden. Something she’s never been brave enough to do before. We also managed to get her to agree on having her hair cut for the first time – just a trim but still a huge accomplishment.
Elsa has been taking part in cross country running at school and she really enjoys it. We’ve always said that she’s great at running – really light and quick on her feet. Our little pocket rocket. I’m excited to see her sports day achievements if they don’t get cancelled. It’s lovely to know that she’s taking part and enjoying something for herself.
Elsa has had a pretty huge end to June. I need to write a blog post about it in more depth but her glucagon test took place just over a week ago. It was definitely a traumatic hospital visit, a long day for both of us but it’s over now and we can look on to getting the results in about two months. She was so incredibly brave and I filmed a video from our hospital visit if you’d like to see it. Don’t worry there’s nothing graphic in there.
Sunshine during the earlier part of June, allowed us to enjoy some outdoor adventures. Freya and Elsa have enjoyed going for walks during Eva’s horse riding lessons. We’ve also been able to get out as a family a bit more too. Eva had her class picnic this month too which was beautiful!
Elsa’s ever-growing confidence has certainly seen her becoming more independent from Eva. She’s learning to answer back a bit and becoming more assertive in making her own decisions. You can really tell that this is a change that Eva wasn’t expecting and has started to feel a bit lost. They’re relearning their roles and the dynamics of their bonds.
Freya has had a tough few weeks behaviour-wise that is directed at her sister’s – as always. But we have seen some slight improvement over the past week after a serious chat and some new boundaries being put in place. I truly hope we can continue to work on this so that we can enjoy the summer as a family.
There’s a lot of things to remember for all three of my girls as the July ahead brings the end of another year at school. I’m feeling quite anxious about the end of the academic year. It’s been another weird one, with lots of it spent in lockdown and it feels as if there’s been a lot taken from the academic year especially school trips.
Check out our previous Siblings Project posts here!